The Obnoxious Back-Up Singer Meets the Back of My Hand

After returning from my first rehearsal for The Full Monty last night, I was feeling pretty pumped about the performance prospects of the production, so I put off going to bed and booked it out of my building to go busk (sorry...in an alliterative mood).

I wasn't out for long. By the time I cracked open my guitar case, set up, and started playing, about four trains had gone by, which is never a good sign because there wasn't much of an audience lingering in the station. Exacerbating the evening's outlook considerably was a large black man who decided to sing unrelated back-up vocals for "Heart of Gold" -- the first song I played! Unbelievably bad luck. His friends thought it was the funniest schtick they'd ever seen. Being a billowy, blubbery sort of fellow, his voice more than drowned out my own, and I was forced to wait it out until he amscrayed.

When their train arrived, the group shuffled over to it and the dude's friend goes, "C'mon, man, give him a dollar!" The dude just starts laughing and shakes his head. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to channel good 'ole El Kabong from that Hanna-Barbera cartoon and smash my guitar over his empty noggin, but remembering that I only have one guitar, I abandoned this option.

A minute later, I thought of a decent comeback. "No, tell him to keep his money. He needs it for voice lessons." Always too late.